In his book Project Unlonely: Healing Our Crisis of Disconnection, Dr. Jeremy Noble discusses the public health and economic impacts of widespread seclusion, as well as the importance of building meaningful connections. He advocates making loneliness screening a routine part of health care and prescribing social activities such as museum visits, classes and nature walks for patients. These measures have been effectively used in the United Kingdom.

There is a growing movement that encourages us to find our tribe—those that resonate with our own core values, interests and lifestyle. While historically associated with Indigenous groups, a “tribe” is defined as a social division consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect. The point is to surround ourselves with supportive individuals that uplift us and provide a sense of belonging.

 

Multigenerational Communion

Family is, in a sense, our original tribe, serving a crucial role in our sense of belonging throughout life. Regardless of interpersonal dynamics, maintaining consistent connection with relatives can ease loneliness and improve longevity and other health outcomes. In the world's Blue Zones, where people live the longest and have a better overall quality of life, the happiest centenarians build their lives around their families, and multigenerational households are common.   

To remain anchored in our heritage, it is essential to regularly share moments and activities with kin, enjoying family meals, holiday parties, game nights, walks around the neighborhood or even living room hangouts. Simply spending time together allows us to share family stories, learn from each other and create traditions. Outside the family, there are many ways to find or create a tribe of cheerful acquaintances and deeply held friendships that form a safety net to shield us from drifting into isolation.

 

Serving Others

Volunteering is a powerful way to engage in activities that align with our passions and values while also connecting with like-minded people and helping a cause or deserving group of individuals. One example is Volunteers in Medicine (VIM), founded in 2003, which brings together 70 medical professionals and approximately 100 community stakeholders that volunteer their time to provide free health care for the uninsured people of the Berkshires, in Massachusetts. While the practitioners treat patients—in-person and online—the others serve as interpreters, drivers and receptionists. The generosity of these individuals addresses an important need in the community and keeps people out of hospitals.  

“By engaging in VIM’s mission, volunteers find purpose and meaning through the act of giving back, enhancing their own lives while improving others,” shares VIM Executive Director Ilana Steinhauer. “The opportunity to serve the community not only fulfills a personal desire to help those in need, but also fosters a deep sense of connection and community among volunteers. This camaraderie and shared mission enrich the volunteers’ lives, creating a ripple effect of positivity that strengthens the entire community fabric, making it a cornerstone of community and personal development.”

Another example is nonprofit Citizen University, which equips Americans to be cultural catalysts. Their Local Civic Collaboratory aims to shift the paradigm of success from individual achievement to shared triumph. Through collaborative gatherings, participants are empowered to address local issues, launch educational initiatives and spark artistic endeavors while relishing in deep conversations, forging meaningful bonds and launching networks of unified action.

 

Making Deep Connections

Coming together around shared beliefs or devotional practices can be another avenue to step away from seclusion and into a loving fraternity. Some people with shared values and goals choose to live with each other in what is known as intentional communities, many of which emphasize sustainability, cooperation and mutual support. The Foundation for Intentional Community offers an online directory to find the right living situation based on multiple criteria, including geographical location, community type, dietary preferences, educational styles, religious or spiritual beliefs and renewable energy sources.

 

The Kindness of Strangers

When we are out and about, we encounter people we don’t know—strangers in supermarket aisles, bank lines or walking their dogs in the local park. Instead of passing by without acknowledging them, we have the choice to say hello or exchange pleasantries. On his podcast “Hidden Brain”, Shankar Vedantam explores how these tiny encounters can impact our lives. Smiling at people in the street, expressing gratitude for small acts of kindness or complimenting someone’s style elevates both parties. Studies by Amit Kumar, assistant professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, and Nicholas Epley, professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, highlight the beneficial, long-term impact of small acts of kindness and positive interactions on recipients and givers.

 

Connecting Online and In Person

If friendships were lost during the pandemic, rebuilding a tribe will require intentionality and creativity. Reaching out with purpose to create community might just be what saves us and the planet. When we feel a sense of belonging, we can collaborate for the common good and boost our ability to protect nature, innovate and find solutions for the world’s problems. How we network is limited only by our imagination: Take classes at the local library, community college or arts organization; find a fun activity on MeetUp.com; or form a group to make new friends that share a common interest.

While online tribes can offer accessibility and a broader reach, thus facilitating connections with people from different geographies and backgrounds, face-to-face interactions are essential to our well-being. Holistic psychologist Victoria Kar shares, “Never in history has humanity been more disconnected from each other than now. The predominance of urban lifestyles creates barriers for deep social connections, and technology creates a false sense of belonging—where we can reach someone on the other side of the world on a screen—yet have no one to hold next to us.”

In-person communities provide a more heartfelt sense of fellowship. When we are present, we emit energetic fields, and the heart radiates perhaps the most powerful energy. Studies conducted by the HeartMath Institute have shown that the heart’s magnetic field can be detected by other individuals up to five feet away, igniting our sense of belonging in a way that is not possible online.

In his recent advisory report, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Hallegere Murthy notes that, across age groups, people are spending less time with each other in person than two decades ago, and this is most pronounced among young people aged 15 to 24 that are engaging in 70 percent fewer interactions with friends. Murthy points out, “The impact of this lack of social connection can be felt in our schools, workplaces and organizations, where performance, productivity and engagement are diminished.”

The report outlines six recommendations to enhance social connection, including:

• Urging for greater social infrastructure at parks, libraries and public programs

• Enacting pro-connection public policies at every level of government such as access to public transport and paid family leave

• Mobilizing the health sector to address needs stemming from isolation

• Reforming digital environments

• Investing in research to deepen our understanding of this issue

• Cultivating a culture of connection

 
In his book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, Murthy identifies three types of connections that play a crucial role in our lives: intimate (close friends and family), relational (friends and acquaintances) and collective (communities). Factors such as work culture, social media and urbanization can hinder meaningful connections, contributing to a growing sense of isolation.

As a solution, he emphasizes the importance of small, consistent actions such as active listening, expressing gratitude and engaging with community. True connection is a source of healing. The Surgeon General urges, “Answer that phone call from a friend. Make time to share a meal. Listen without the distraction of your phone. Perform an act of service. Express yourself authentically.”

Finding a tribe can significantly impact our health and happiness, providing support, joy and inclusion. The connections we choose to nurture can enrich our lives in profound ways, ensuring we thrive in body, mind and spirit.

Thais Harris is a board-certified holistic nutritionist, bestselling author and international speaker. Connect at NourishTogether.com.  

   

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